In the 1960s, a psychologist named Walter Mischel ran a now-famous experiment at Stanford University. He sat four-year-olds down in front of a single marshmallow and offered them a choice: eat it now, or wait fifteen minutes and get a second one.

Simple? Turns out, not so much.

Only about 30% of the children were able to wait the full fifteen minutes. Most gave in within three minutes. Mischel found it mildly interesting but moved on, later quipping, “there are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.”

But as those kids grew up, something fascinating happened. Researchers followed up years later and found that the ones who had waited? They were doing better — in school, in their careers, even in relationships. They were more resilient, more focused, and more successful. The kids who couldn’t wait were more likely to struggle with stress, self-control, and behavior.

Reflecting on the study, Dieter Uchtdorf put it like this:

“What started as a simple experiment with children and marshmallows became a landmark study suggesting that the ability to wait—to be patient—was a key character trait that might predict later success in life.” [1]

But let’s be clear: patience isn’t just sitting around waiting for a reward to drop into your lap. In the real world, the second marshmallow won’t magically appear. If we just wait passively, we’ll miss out. No growth, no reward, no success.

As Uchtdorf goes on to say:

“…Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping… bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!” [2]

We all have our own "second marshmallow" we’re chasing — a degree, a promotion, a healthier body, a new skill, the confidence to speak in front of a crowd. But in every case, there’s a price to pay. And the big question is: are we willing to pay it?

When I was a secondary school English teacher, a student came to me wanting a top grade in his English exam. At the time, I was just about to start a six-week after-school study group — one hour a week. I invited him along.

His response? “That’s too much effort, sir!”

He didn’t get the result he wanted. Why? He wasn’t willing to invest six hours into his own future. Ironically, I’m sure he spent at least that long that week (maybe even that evening) shooting things on his Xbox.

The truth is, if you want specific results, there’s a specific price to be paid.

Here’s another example. Ever asked an audience, “Who’s had a music lesson before?” Almost every hand goes up. But ask who still plays that instrument — and the hands drop.

What happened? Somewhere along the way, most of us decided the progress was too slow, the effort too much, the cost too high - and we gave up. And if we’re not careful, that same mindset creeps into our other goals — fitness, careers, even relationships.

I’ve played piano since I was eight. By sixteen, I’d completed Grade 6 out of a possible 8. Whenever family or friends visited, I was often asked to play. And almost without fail, someone would say:

“I’d give anything to play like that!”

Really?

Because I gave up a half-hour every week for lessons. I practiced 30 minutes a day. For ten years. My mum deserves a big shoutout for footing the bill. I hope all those hours — and the odd serenade — have paid her back, at least a little.

There’s a lot of talk about the “10,000-hour rule” — the idea that if you spend 10,000 hours doing something, you’ll become an expert. I’m not here to argue the number. But I do know this: the more time you invest, the better you get.

I’m not the world’s greatest pianist, but I’m probably 6,000–7,000 hours better than if I’d never started.

So next time someone says, “I’d give anything to play like that,” I might just respond: “How about a weekly half-hour lesson and 30 minutes of practice a day for a decade?”

I might get a few clients.

Anyone fancy piano lessons?

Fitness works the same way. Every expert, every coach — their core message is consistent: to achieve results, you have to show up. You have to persist. You have to show resilience. Even when you don’t feel like it. Especially then.

And let’s be honest — that’s hard. Especially when you're walking past a chip shop, fast food drive-thru, or a glowing sign.

Aesop’s fable of The Tortoise and the Hare still hits home. The Hare had all the natural talent but lacked consistency. The Tortoise, slow and steady, won the race.

Zig Ziglar observed:

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

David Bednar explains it thus:

“The Tortoise is a classic illustration of steadiness and persistence. The Hare… is an example of a ‘spurter’—one who is given to short bursts of spectacular effort followed by frequent and lengthy periods of rest. A spurt may appear impressive in the short run, but steadiness over time is far more effective, far less dangerous, and produces far better results.” [3]

What’s haunting is this: we don’t know how close the Hare was to the finish line when he stopped to rest. He might’ve been a hundred yards away. Or ten. Maybe he fell asleep right at the finish line.

But he never crossed it. Close doesn’t count.

And in our own lives, the same truth applies. Whether you give in after 10 seconds or 14 minutes and 59 seconds — you still miss out on the second marshmallow.

Several years ago, I ran a marathon. I assumed logging 150 miles in August would carry me through. So I eased off.

September and October flew by — and I didn’t train properly. I finished in 4 hours and 39 minutes, which isn’t terrible. But I ended up with a knee injury that sidelined me for months.

Why? I didn’t pay the full price. And my body paid for it instead.

We see this everywhere.

We wonder why we don’t lose weight after eating clean all week but binging every weekend.
Why we’re not fit after one amazing gym session… followed by three weeks off.
Why our house is messy when we deep cleaned it last month.

We put in big, dramatic effort and expect fireworks — and when nothing explodes, we get discouraged.

But, as Bednar said, it’s the small, daily decisions that really move the needle. They’re also much less painful than the occasional all-or-nothing pushes.

No wonder Clayton M. Christensen said:

“It’s easier to hold your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold them 98% of the time.” [4]

Progress requires patience, discipline, and consistency — three things most of us resist giving.

Mo Farah didn’t just wake up one day and decide to dominate long-distance running. He built it brick by brick. And British Cycling’s legendary transformation? Dave Brailsford’s approach was all about tiny, consistent improvements — what he called “the aggregation of marginal gains.” [5]

But we live in a world that craves speed. Instant downloads. One-click orders. Same-day delivery. Even waiting for the kettle feels like too much now.

The problem? Our brains are wired to love this.

Dopamine — the brain’s feel-good chemical — rewards us for seeking pleasure. As Simon Sinek explains, when we indulge in quick wins — social media, fast food, games, streaming, even substances — we get a rush of dopamine. [6]

And it feels good… temporarily.

But over time, that craving for quick pleasure can trap us in a cycle. We trade long-term joy for short-term hits. Before we know it, we’ve spent years chasing cheap dopamine instead of real, meaningful goals.

That’s a much higher price to pay than patience and progress.

Jim Rohn put it bluntly:

“Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.” [7]

Small decisions matter.

As Thomas S. Monson once said:

“Decisions determine destiny.” [8]

The good news? It’s never too late to make new decisions.

We often tell ourselves that we can’t change — that we’ve always been this way, or it’s too late. But as prison warden Clinton Duffy once said when someone mocked his efforts to reform inmates:

“I don’t work with leopards. I work with men, and men change every day.”

Or, as Daniel Gilbert puts it:

“Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished… The one constant in our lives is change.” [9]

So why not change now?

Pick one thing you want to get better at. Write it down. Then write down one thing you’ll do tomorrow to start.

That’s exactly what I did when I wanted to improve my public speaking. I’ve done it many times since. The results have been slow. Sometimes painful. But without a doubt, they’ve transformed my life, career, and relationships.

Like the Tortoise, keep going.

Stay consistent. Stay committed. Even through the Valley of Disappointment, as James Clear puts it so vividly in Atomic Habits.

Yes, the price of progress is high. But the cost of regret? Much higher.

As Theodore Roosevelt said:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” [10]

And I’ll leave you with one more from Jim Rohn:

“There are two types of pain you will go through in life: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, while regret weighs tonnes.” [11]

Amen to that.

References

Dieter F. Uchtdorf ‘Continue in Patience’, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/continue-in-patience?lang=eng

David A. Bednar, ‘Steadfast and Immovable, Always Abounding in Good Works’,https://www.lds.org/new-era/2008/01/steadfast-and-immovable-always-abounding-in-good-works?lang=eng

Clayton M. Christensen, http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/891558-it-s-easier-to-hold-your-principles-100-percent-of-the

James Clear, http://jamesclear.com/marginal-gains

Simon Sinek ‘Milennials in the Workplace’, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MC2X-LRbkE

Jim Rohn, http://jamesclear.com/marginal-gains

Thomas S. Monson ‘Decisions Determine Destiny’, https://www.lds.org/new-era/1979/11/decisions-determine-destiny?lang=eng

Daniel Gilbert ‘Stumbling on Happiness’, https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/06/18/daniel-gilbert-happiness-future-self/

Theodore Roosevelt, https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/theodorero103499.html

Jim Rohn, http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/218411-there-are-two-types-of-pain-you-will-go-through

The Price of Progress: Developing Resilience for Improved Performance and Results

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